


5 Times: 4 Times Dougie Doesn't Say "I Love You" And One Time He Does

by orphan_account



Category: Hockey RPF, San Jose Sharks - Fandom
Genre: 5 Times, Douglas's trade, Fluff, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 12:39:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 times Dougie doesn't confess his feelings. 1 time he does. References his trade to the Penguins on 3/25/2013</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times: 4 Times Dougie Doesn't Say "I Love You" And One Time He Does

_One_

 

Dougie stares at his goalie, trying to figure out how to make him feel better. He wants to just pull him into his arms and tell Antti that he loves him. He doesn’t think Antti  would even react. “It wasn’t your fault.”

 

“Yes it was. I let in three goals.” The goalie mutters quietly, not looking up. “The other goalie only let in two.”

 

Dougie growls in frustration, forcing Antti’s head up, to look in his eyes. “Yes? Out of how many tries? They had thirty-nine shots on goal. We only had thirteen. And you blame _yourself?!”_ The older man stares angrily into Antti’s eyes. “How do you think we did, eh? Turnovers up the wazoo.”

 

The Swede’s accent is stronger than usual, brought out by his anger and Antti is a mixture of afraid and amused as he smiles softly. “Wazoo. That is a funny word.”

 

Dougie freezes, startled by Antti’s sudden smile. “Yes, it is.” He grins. “Logan used it the other day and I asked him what it meant. ‘Up the ass.’”

 

Antti finds this hilarious and instead of his usual quiet chuckle or giggle, he lets out a loud belly laugh.

 

Dougie thinks its the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. He laughs too, pulling Antti into a gentle bro-hug. “You are the best goalie in the league and my best friend in the world.”

 

Antti just smiles, perhaps tearing up just a little as he hugs the defenseman back. “Thank you.”

 

“Of course. Now, movie later?”

 

“Sure.”

* * *

_Two_

 

Dougie is drunk. Very drunk. He’s resting his head on Antti’s thighs, staring up at him. The goalie is especially beautiful tonight, his sapphire eyes staring into Dougie’s.

Antti stares down, just as drunk. He cards his hands through the defenseman’s hair, muttering something in Finnish.

 

Dougie doesn’t understand and resolves to try to look it up later. Antti’s hands feel awesome in his hair and he never wants to move or think again. He mutters softly in his own tongue. “Jag älskar dig.” I love you.

 

Antti’s too drunk to catch it, even though he knows Swedish. He just keeps petting Dougie’s hair, smiling down at him.

 

Eventually, they both fall asleep and wake in the morning to pounding headaches and sore necks. They don’t talk about their drunk cuddling, they never do  and Dougie leaves soon after they wake up.

* * *

_Three_

 

One moment Dougie’s skating along the boards behind Antti, the puck in his possession and the next he’s flat on his back, breathless and with pain flooding through him. He tries to get up, but he can’t, it just hurts too much.

 

The ref blows the whistle and Antti whips around the net, pushing up his mask. “Dougie! Dougie! Are you okay?!” He drops down to his knees beside his defenseman, the first to reach the Swede.

 

Dougie smiles despite the pain as he draws in a deep breath, staring up at Antti. “Y-yeah...just hurt my neck. Think my head is fine.” It’s nice having Antti here, caring for him.

 

Antti’s eyes widen, worrying. “How bad is it?”

 

“N-not bad, just muscle pain.” It hurts way more than that and Dougie’s not sure to be honest, but he doesn’t want to scare the goalie. He’s just about to say it, what he’s been trying to say for months, when the ref pushes Antti back and people haul Dougie off the ice.

 

* * *

 

_Four_

 

Dougie hasn’t been playing much since he got hurt and he’s been lonely, so Antti invites himself over to Dougie’s to watch a movie.  They end up watching a horror movie and though Antti doesn’t like them, he just agrees to it.

 

They’re half-way through and Antti’s spooked, unaware of the way he has curled into Dougie’s side, his attention fixed on the tv in front of them. His eyes are wide and he might be holding his breath too much, sweating a little.

 

Dougie smiles, having long stopped watching the movie in favor of watching the goalie instead. He slowly wraps an arm around Antti, pulling him closer.  “Breathe.”

 

Antti jumps a little, turning his head to stare into Dougie’s eyes before he comes back to himself and relaxes again. “T-thank you.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Antti lets out a quiet laugh, still feeling a little jumpy as he glances up at Dougie’s face. He looks innocent and sweet and a little scared and its all Dougie can do to stop himself from kissing him.

 

“Right.”

 

“Right.”

 

Antti turns back to the movie, still wrapped in one of Dougie’s arms. The defenseman continues to watch the other, wishing he could spit his feelings out.

* * *

 

_Five_

 

Dougie’s heart is breaking. He’s being traded away to the Penguins, and Antti doesn’t even know it yet. He ducks his head as the coach announces it to the team. They all start muttering, none sounding happy, and its only then he looks in Antti’s direction.

 

Antti’s staring at empty space, tears welling up in his beautiful blue eyes. “N-no...” He says it so quietly, shaking his head so slightly, only Dougie sees. “No...”

 

Dougie moves closer, a lump in his throat as he gently nudges his now former goalie. “C-can I talk to you?”

Antti just nods, unable to look up at his face quite yet. He lets Dougie lead him off  into a corner of the locker room, the rest of the team still on the ice, and finally glances up at his face. “D-did you want to?”

 

“No! No, I didn’t. I don’t want to go to Pittsburgh.” Dougie leans closer, gently cupping Antti’s face. “I just want to stay here, but I can’t.”

 

Antti doesn’t pull away, staring into Dougie’s eyes, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’m really going to miss you.”

 

“I’m going to miss you too.” And he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to the goalie’s lips. “Rakastan sinua.” _I love you_. His pronunciation is terrible, but he’s pretty sure Antti gets it, from the way he tenses and pushes him back. Either that or it’s the kiss. _Shit._

 

“Sinä paskapää! Miksi et kertonut minulle?!” _You shithead! Why didn’t you tell me?!_ Antti’s suddenly furious and Dougie would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little afraid. “Kuinka kehtaat? Oikeus kun olet lähdössä?!” _How dare you? Right when you’re leaving!_

 

It takes Dougie a few seconds to understand and immediately he’s filled with guilt. “Olen pahoillani.” _I’m sorry._

 

“Se ei riitä!” _That’s not good enough!_ Still pissed, Antti pins him up against the wall, crashing their lips together, still crying.

 

Dougie can only gasp and pull him closer,  as both cry and hold each other desperately, knowing it won’t be long before Dougie’s goodbye.

  
  



End file.
